One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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