Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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