Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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