Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
