I heard we made out
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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