Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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