he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm passing your future prison.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
