Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize