Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
birth control should be required to get into college
two words...techno handjob
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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