i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
