just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
