My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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