DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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