I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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