I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
