the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize