I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
