Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Fuck appropriateness.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
