There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize