What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
