You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
