grandma shit on top of the toilet
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
