How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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