anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
