the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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