I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
FUCK WHALES
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