Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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