Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my being single is dangerous.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
