"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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