How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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