By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
