We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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