I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
