Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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