69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize