he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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