i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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