so that wasnt chicken after all
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
