So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
