If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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