from now on my penis is your penis
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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