I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize