how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
