1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
