He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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