I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
