I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
