Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
