I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i need an iv and a liver transplant
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
