Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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