And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I still have a little drunk in my system
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
