something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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