peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
