he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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