everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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