My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
