so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
