Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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