so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
