i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
