I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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