I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize