I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
