1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
