I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
