So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
